Happy birthday mom. I still miss you every single day… You made your way through the gates of heaven, where I know the angels welcomed you with open arms, because here on earth you were already an angel to me.
To this day, still so much I wanted to learn from you and ask you…
I wish you were here on my wedding day…
I wish you were here when your granddaughters were born…
I wish you could’ve met them…
I wish that they could’ve met you and spend time with you…
I wish you were still here mom, to teach them what I can’t…
I wish I understood back then how strong you were…
I wish I could tell you in person, how proud and in awe I am of you…
I thank you for the values and life lessons you taught me…
I thank you for being the best mom any daughter could ask for…
I can only wish to be the mother to my kids that you were to me…
I wish you didn’t have to leave so soon…
I love you mom, and always will…
So this is my tribute to you…
I wish I could’ve told you all this in person…
I wish you were still here…
Today would’ve been my mom’s 61st birthday celebration, her 19th birthday not here with us… She passed away on 16 February 2001 after she lost her very long fight with cancer. I call it a fight, because she fought cancer for six years. Remission, cancer, cancer, remission and so it went on.
Be a fighter for your own life and Never give up is but only two of many life lessons she taught me through her being.
When we were packing up mom’s things we came across two letters in white envelopes, one addressed to my sister and the other letter to me. These letters were dated February 2000, exactly a year to the month before she passed.
I’ve read my letter about a thousand times over and every time it feels like the first time I’m reading it. Every time I find something new, a new piece of advice, or a different point of view and it gives me encouragement when I need it most.
Her kind and encouraging guidance and conversation with me in this letter made me understand her better. She makes mention of Bible verses she held near and dear to her heart that carried her through tough times. Romans 8:28 and Psalm 23 (She mentions was her most favorite psalm of all)
Mom’s direct words: “Opportunities in life isn’t just going to present itself out of thin air, YOU need to go out and find it yourself and to never walk you’re life path without God”.
When I look back on her life, I remember a strong, loving, graceful, proud and empowered woman who taught me valuable life skills and values she knew I’ll need someday. To be kind to myself and to others, to love and say I love you aloud. To be grateful, to persevere, to always be myself and to believe in myself.
These are the skills and values that I want to pass on to my girls to prepare them for their life journey… To empower them.
I’ve been reminiscing about the past a lot lately and I guess this is what inspired me to write this post.
I’m now the age my mom was when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and my kids are more or less the same age that me and my sister was back then.
This just made me realize how truly blessed I am to be healthy, to have a wonderful husband and two beautiful girls. Yes, life has it’s ups and downs and everything is not perfect all the time, but we have each other to rely on and that’s all that matters.
So, on that note… I hope this post inspires you to live and love each day as if it’s your last and PLEASE go for breast checkups regularly. After all, prevention is better than cure.
xxx
Liezl